That Time of Year

These long, hot days away from you suck.

I woke up thinking about you, and us, and what can be and what maybe can't be.

I didn't come to any conclusions (do I ever?), but it seemed like a good excuse to try to be inspired to write something.

The sun is coming up, the mourning doves are doing their annoying little concert, and a mosquito just bit the piss out of me. That's all I can come up with.

And, as always, I long for you.

Happy Memorial Day.

Perspective

Life-and-death moments are great, aren't they?

I honestly believe, for the only time in my adult life, I tried to make a mortal deal with the Big Man that day. Here, despite what you have heard, was the extent of the exchange, and it went silently:
"I'm not done with her. If someone has to die today, let it be me."

It's even out of line with my theology, but desperate souls say desperate things. All the beauty and fun-ness that is you being gone in a heartbeat was more than I could bear.

I'm not trying to be overly dramatic, either. I just wanted you to know. And I needed the space of several days to avoid the dramatic. (Hence "perspective".)

I know we're not promised tomorrow (individually or as a "couple"), but I can't imagine my life without you ---well, at least you being alive, somewhere, regardless of what the future holds.

Words from a mortal can't express my feelings about all this, so I'll stop. Warm fuzzies are all I can come up with.