I Have No Terms

But this feels like I am leading you on. Not for any particular reason, it just does. I do enjoy you like I don't enjoy most things, but I often feel I am not matching your investment. I'm going to trust that you'll tell me if I take advantage. That being said, thank you. I know that things are in flux for both of us. I can't help but look at it as exciting. Change is painful, but good. Well, in these cases. I feel lucky to have you to commiserate with. And to keep me warm on occasion. You are one of the things I am thankful for. Should I put it on Facebook?

Autumn

I love the fall. You know that. Football. Crisp days. Crisper nights. Those blue skies made bluer when you are near.

I know change is accelerating. I have no idea what will happen, but I do know everything will be ok. I've always told you that.

As the leaves turn and fall, and as our situations ebb and flow, let our love be a constant.

That's all the sermon I have for you. It's a quiet, constant, consistent message.

Heat

I loved our extended communications last night. I can't seem to get enough of you these days. There's always something getting in the way. When we do get to interact, I've been struck by the heat of it. On the phone, online, via text. You warm me, inside out. When we have the opportunity to actually see each other, the heat is crazy. I have never been as warm as I am when I am with you.

Because I'm Thinking of You

You Deserve Better

That's all I can say.

Headed to where you won't be.  Be safe and have fun.

And now May ends...

I just didn't want to let the month go without a post.

Thanks for hanging in the mess with me. I appreciate the support more than I can express.

As April Ends...

I miss you. I know, life is busy and all that.

I wonder what will happen with us....in every sense of the word "us". What will happen with us as a couple, what will happen in our other relationships, what will happen with us as individuals?

I enjoy the surprise of mail from you.

I enjoy hearing your voice on the phone.

I have been waking up in the middle of the night, thinking about you.

And, as April ends, I realize more and more how much you are a part of me. Thank you for this adventure.

I can feel you...

I can feel you constantly, consistently, continually, continuously...

Physically, I feel you on me, around me. Our collisions remain.

Emotionally, physically, spiritually, I feel you. Your presence is with me every second.

Complicated and Fun

That's us. I almost think I've used that title before for a post here.

Thank you for the interaction yesterday and for the phone call today. I've had two people comment on seeing us together so far. Wow.

I know the duplicity is hard. Would it be easier if we didn't seem so right and good together?

Year 3

Happy 3rd anniversary of our acknowledging all of this!

I, as always, wish you the best. I love you.

Outlets

I have nothing to say.  Not even enough to put in a letter.

2013 Begins...

The new year is off to a decent start, I would say. I just need to see you more.

Some emotional progress is being made, too.

I was asked by the counselor the other day if I would ever consider giving you up. I actually laughed. We talked about "emotional affairs" that day. The wife and I continue to discuss what "cheating" means. My life is one big riot! Seriously, I have no intention of giving you and us up. I don't believe the world, nor anyone in the world, needs to know who we are.

I hope you are having fun on your trip. I miss you.