The Things I Wish I Could Say

...but shouldn't. But will. Well, sort of.

I don't understand him, or you with him, or anything like that.

I wish for a magical wand that could make the world exactly like I want it. You'd be a big part of it.

But, thanks for your love and support. It's a rough time for everyone around us, it seems.

I enjoyed seeing your FB posting. It seems like a fun secret.

More later, since the world is closing in around me.

Skirting the Line

Posted to you on FB. Look at me flirt with danger.

I'm glad you went. I think it was the best decision, not that my opinion should matter at all. Travel safely, though I know you won't read this until you are back.

Easy Affection

The things we do without thinking...

I have a crazy small personal space, anyhow.  And I touch all of you bunches.  But I lean in to you and allow you, oh, I don't know, liberties?  That I don't allow others.  Even in public.

I might should watch it.  And I hate that.  I hate the idea of having to over-think our contact -- especially when it feels innocent.  But it's not, is it?  ;)

Dealing with Things and Stuff

My attitude about a lot of subjects is different than it was even a few weeks ago.

I resolved to handle one issue, one problem, at a time instead of trying to take the weight of the world on my shoulders constantly.

I will be OK, I promise.

I still adore you. I long for you. I'm pitiful about you.

But, I know you can only do what you can do. You can only be as available to me as you can be.

We're OK. We're great. You bring me happiness, and laughter, and a sense of togetherness...or some such word...that transcends what the reality of our situations seems to be.

I still have a hard time figuring out what the future might look like, or even what I really want it to look like, but we'll get there.

Love the Colour of it All

I'm still in a miserable mood.  Sorry.

And I'm worried about you.  Horribly worried.  I deal with these things -- all of them -- differently than you do.  Much differently.  But I come at it with a different set of experiences and I have to trust that you know what's best for you.  Hopefully, I'll come across as concerned, not nagging.

Again, I smelled you in the hallway today and got giddy.  I know your scent will be in my office tomorrow, and the haunting will make me happy.

Neglectful

Sorry about that. Only a little, as I wasn't pleasant, and you don't need to deal with that.

My condolences for your friend. That town has so few people who are good for it. I'm sure you will attend services. Let me know if I should, too. For you or the family.

I enjoyed our time the other day. I appreciate your friendship and miss our conversations. The rest of it may be more than I can deal with right now. Contact is contract and I would have a hard time covering my action these days. I'm just not willing to stand behind what my skin says. Too much is happening and I'm spending that in other places.

Yeah! Vague...

Take care of yourself first.

A Little Thought

So, if your husband thinks we would need a chaperone (or chaperon), what does that say about us?

You see, it seems we are still playing with fire without immersing ourselves in the flames.

I don't just mean that in a physical sense.

Thanks for the time you gave me the other day. I know things are rough, and complicated, and you're angry, and all sorts of other things, but we still seem to be ok.

This long weekend has been rough. I hope your world is getting better.

Officially the First Post of 2011

It only took me 7 days.

I know things have been crazy, but the little moments we have are still golden. Or maybe platinum.

Anyway, I'll write more later, but I just needed, for some damn reason, to thank you for letting me be there for your emotional purges.

Weird, I know.