Well, if that wasn't a dry spell...

I need to find something better to do with my passwords.  This shit isn't working.

I've missed you.  Well, here at least.

I'd like to say some things, and I'm not sure if this is the appropriate venue, but I'm going to go for it anyhow. 

Sometimes just knowing that you exist changes the timbre of my day.  I feel we are in this really amazing situation, but it's fragile and it isn't real.  It's not something we can share, it's not something we can just throw around casually.  It's fragile from the outside, that is.  From the inside, it's pretty much eternal.

I mean, who else would forgive me for some of the things I've said recently?  I guess there are people out there who would forgive me for saying them, but you forgave me for giggling -- sometimes hysterically -- afterwards.  Really, how much stronger can you get than that?

But, I also know you're in a place right now.  A place that is similar to my own, but far more dangerous.  You have more to lose.  Mostly because you're dealing with a level of crazy that I can only imagine and you're a pillar.  You have to do what is right.

What is right may not be me.  I know.  Horribly disappointing.  I just want you to know that I'm not clinging hard-and-fast to the eight-year-and-two-month schedule.  I have an odd feeling that I'll always be here -- whether you can be or not -- and I'll always be available to you.  The delightful and liberating part of that is that there's no "put your life on hold for me" coming from you.  I'm going to keep doing what I have to do and the shit between us?  It'll work out.  We'll fit into each other in exactly the way we're supposed to.

And that?  That total lack of pressure (aside from the physical kind) is probably the healthiest thing in my life right now.  I need to underscore that you've said everything I've just said to you to me. And I return the statements, pretty much as is.  There is only so much drama a person can be expected to take.  And we have our own drama between us -- maybe it's more of a tension, but you get the idea.  There is no need for us to be complicated for each other.  We can just be and this will just be and it will all, stop me if you've heard this one, be just fine.

That's everything I have to say.  What I want to say is:

These last few meetings we've had have been intoxicating for me.  I'm sorry things are happening the way they are happening for you, but even with all of that mess, I still enjoy being near you more than you could ever imagine.