I’ve been having some awkward conversations with people close to me about the future. It seems almost every aspect of my life (professional, personal, familial, you name it) has this unstable quality that is making people nervous….myself included.
I, too, would like stability, but getting there seems awfully painful, and it also looks like a lot of collateral damage. Is the decision really whether I want to be happy versus the status quo continuing so as to not upset anyone? I know I’m speaking vaguely, but I hope you can fill in the blanks. That’s the best I can do without giving names and details.
I’m not so naïve as to think that your existence in my life does not color my attitude. It does, and I’m aware of that. So, it’s not like I’m looking for an alternate world with you in it as the replacement for all things crappy here. That’s silly, and, well, would be presumptive on my part.
I, too, am going to have to have some awful discussions soon. Yes, I’m waiting until after the first of the year, if I can, so as to not ruin the holidays. But, life is too short to feel like I do, with my only moments of joy coming in brief moments with too few people and with me feeling generally pessimistic about life.
I’m a big believer in free will, so I’m ecstatic when you use words like “voluntary.”
I say thank you a lot, and you always seem a bit perplexed by it. What it means is that I promise to never take a single moment of this for granted. That’s all.
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