I didn’t really intend to refer to you as her, except during the introduction. That was for whatever poor fool happens upon this thing, if they ever do. I’m just glad I can still make you blush.
I don’t really think you sound like the hostile half. I think you sound like the other side of a couple that can’t be a couple trying to make sense of a weird, inconvenient, and insanely intense situation.
So, where were we?
Oh, yeah. How this all started.
Maybe we over-analyze matters of the heart. My mother has always told me you can’t help you love, but I’m not sure she had this in mind. Still, I do think it was unavoidable. I was devoted in a weird sort of way long before the first kiss. I was intrigued by you long before that, and I was challenged by you even before that. I also thought there was no way you would ever deign to my advances. Honestly, I thought you were just enjoying the tease, testing my boundaries, only to snap at me in a horrible way if I ever took you up on the challenge.
I thought, my dear Eris, you were purposefully trying to ruin our friendship. In my paranoia, I figured we had become too close of friends, and probably your husband had found out, and maybe my wife, and you were trying to make it obvious to me why we couldn’t continue our emails and conversations.
I guess I was wrong.
Well, anyway, there’s still this issue of feelings versus expression of feelings. I know I sound like a villain saying this, but I’m not sure anyone would buy our “lack of physicality” defense. I mean, the crime would be the illicit feelings and emotions. Whether we acted on them or not would be, really, beside the point. It might make us feel better, or more moral, or more good-spouse-ish, or whatever, but I’m not sure anyone else would buy it.
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